Emotional intelligence is crucial to success in any industry, but especially so in real estate. Emotions are running high from all sides during these types of transactions, and you are generally not experiencing people at their best as they are either trying to navigate their own large financial decisions, the emotions of their client, the agent on the other side, your own stressors…the list goes on and on.

Then, if you’re in a leadership position, you have the joy of experiencing this on an exponential basis as you work to support everyone on your team. At times, everyone sharing their emotions with you can feel overwhelming. As a former Broker-in-Charge for 200+ agents this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart, as you might be able to imagine! When you work towards high emotional intelligence it helps you navigate complex relationships, handle high-pressure situations with grace, and inspire trust from those who work with you.

Emotional intelligence isn’t something that you can perfect – you’re going to have bad moods and even bad days – but working towards a higher level consistently will improve your life, professionally and personally! Here are some ways you can actively level up:

Practice Self-Awareness
This is the foundation of emotional intelligence. Think about and seek to understand how you react in different situations. This will help you manage your own emotions and ensure that your responses are measured and thoughtful, not impulsive. If you struggle to do this a journal will help you recognize patterns and identify areas for growth while allowing you a private place to vent when the going gets tough.

Be a Master Empathizer
Leaders who show empathy build stronger, more trusting relationships which can translate into better team performance, retention, and client satisfaction. Also, when you are actively working to empathize, it encourages those around you to as well as leading to a more emotionally intelligent workplace overall. If you’re not sure where to start, actively practice listening without interrupting or silently planning what you are going to say next. Attempt to fully understand the other person’s view before offering feedback or a solution. If you’re not sure what to say, “I understand how you feel,” really goes a long way.

Improve Your Emotional Regulation 
Real estate is a wild and exciting industry to do business in and, as a result, it can sometimes be hard to maintain composure. Remaining calm under pressure means you will be better equipped to make rational decisions and lead your team through difficult times. Emotional regulation means controlling your emotions in a way that prevents them from negatively affecting your decisions or relationships. Don’t read me wrong here – I am not saying do not HAVE emotions. Have all the emotions you can, just work to be aware and control how you respond TO your emotions. See what I mean? 

Try this: The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation, pause, breathe, and assess from all sides before acting. My go-to here is to try to assume when someone tells me something, that I have less than half of the information. This keeps me from jumping to conclusions and being reactive because I already know that I need to seek more information before I should do or say anything. Then, I work to get the other side of the story, put together the entire puzzle, and then decide the way forward.

If you find yourself frequently being reactive, find a mindfulness technique (deep breathing, journaling, meditation, yoga… etc.) that works for you, and try to build a short daily practice to stay ahead of your impulses. It won’t happen overnight, but you will definitely see a difference if you stick with it.

Seek Feedback 
Even the most self-aware are still viewing themselves through their own lens. Seek feedback from trusted colleagues to gain insights on how others experience your leadership style. You can also conduct regular 360-degree feedback sessions where your team can anonymously share their thoughts. Be open to this feedback and use it as a tool for growth!

Develop Relationships and Social Awareness
Make time to connect with your team. Regular check-ins and showing genuine interest in their well-being can strengthen your relationships and inspire more collaborations and growth across your organization. As you spend time with your team, make it a habit to observe non-verbal cues like body language, tone, and facial expressions. This will help you to read the room and gain insights into unspoken feelings or concerns, allowing you to address them proactively and foster an environment of transparent and respectful expression.

Emotional intelligence isn’t just a “soft skill” it is critical to creating an organization where your members can thrive and want to remain long-term. Get started with these ideas and start building your emotional muscles!